Where I'm at...

                                                                          Source: weheartit.com via Jessica on Pinterest

 The past few days has been a whirlwind for me, 

and I thought I'd share real quick where I am at. 

I have tried to compose a post to express myself to you,

but have been unable to get the words out right.

{Here goes my best shot}

For the most part, 

my blog is a happy place. 

I like to believe that life is happy.

And then suddenly life throws you a curve ball and changes all that. 

A year ago this month, 

my dear aunt was diagnosed with stage 4 colon cancer. 

She has fought a hard fight for one whole year,

but unfortunately 

we got word last week that her cancer has spread to her lungs and her time with us is numbered.

My heart is broken into a million little pieces.

Sitting in a dark room with the women that has been that mother figure my whole life,

{the women you have always looked up to and vowed to model yourself after}

tell you that she is dying,

wages a crazy war in your heart. 

Tears streaming down our faces. 

Hands gripped tight.

 I will never forget that moment for the rest of my life.

I like to believe that I am this "big Christian" with lots of faith.

The truth is, I am a baby Christian.

And times like this make my faith even smaller.

Why would God take someone so dear to us?

Someone with a heart of gold that just wants to see her kids get married?

The truth is, I am angry. 

I'm sorry for being so vulnerable.

I had to let you in on where I'm at.
I can not hide from you.
I promised I'd be real. 

I'll be back to myself soon.